Pretty Little Liars
We're all liars in some capacity - some of us just get paid to do so.
The subtitle for tonight’s words are a harsh truth that most of us, myself included, struggle to admit.
The lies don’t need to be big or impactful (more on that shortly) - they don’t need to be damaging or painful - in fact, most of the lying we do are completely harmless.
For me, the lies often come in the shape of protecting me from myself. This occasionally comes in the form of a t-shirt I had worn comfortably two weeks prior, only to now feel just a little bit smaller than I remember.
It must have shrunk in the laundry (lie), I tell myself.
I’ve just been eating dinners a little late (lie), I tell myself.
It’s okay, I’ll make sure to get back into to working out next week (lie), I tell myself.
Deep down, I know exactly why that shirt is snug - but in that moment of realization, I struggle to look at my face (and it’s extra chin) in the mirror and admit that it was my bad habits, my own doings, that made that shirt a little less comfortable than I’d prefer.
These are harmless lies, to an extent - but inevitably, there comes a time when you are faced with a decision of facing that lie and making a change, or continuing to live with your poor decisions until you no longer can.
With that example out of the way - I suppose we should talk about what I like to consider more ‘impactful’ lies.
im·pact·ful, adj.
Definition: having a major impact or effect.
Usage in a sentence: “The Mariners are in the market for two “impactful” infielders this offseason”
Now, to be clear, this quote was/is not a lie - but it is it’s preface. This quote was provided to us by the Seattle Mariners President of Baseball Operations, Jerry Dipoto, at the General Manager Meetings back in November.
This point was regurgitated Ad nauseam throughout the off-season, and was proven time and time again through the organizations attempts to upgrade at every infield position outside of Shortstop.
Christian Walker, Justin Turner and Carlos Santana were frequently linked to the Mariners early in the off-season both by national and local writers alike. The organization made efforts in acquiring the services of both Santana and Walker, only to come up short financially on both. Justin Turner in theory remains an option, as he has yet to decide on his 2025 employer.
Nico Hoerner, Brandon Lowe and Hyeseong Kim were also linked to the Mariners at varying times this off-season. The Mariners fell short on acquiring Hyeseong Kim, though admittedly, it’s fair to ask if they ever had a chance given the allure of the organization he chose. Both Hoerner and Lowe are hypothetically still available via trade - but to this point, there have been no signs that the organization is any closer to acquiring them than they were in November.
Alec Bohm is one of the few true third baseman options the Mariners were linked to this off-season, however, Bohm was never really seen as a feasible option given the Phillies hilarious asking price. That said, as unrealistic as it was, the Mariners still reached out in an attempt to upgrade their hawt corner.
To varying degrees, these players all qualified as impactful moves for an organization, that until mid-January, had yet to add to a roster that fell just short (again) of making the postseason in 2024.
First, the Mariners brought in 37 year old Donovan Solano, in a move that seemingly appeared to be designed as a first base platoon, with enough flexibility to have him fill in the gaps for 2B and 3B pending future additions. The move in a vacuum was fine, pending your belief in making wagers against Father Time, and certainly wasn’t a move most would consider ‘notable’.
no·ta·ble, adj.
Definition: worthy of attention or notice; remarkable.
Usage in a sentence: “The Mariners … believe they’re positioned to make a notable move before Spring Training, according to sources familiar with the club’s thinking.”
Again, by definition, this is still not a lie, however it begins to border one based on your personal opinion of the above definition, and how it applies to ‘new’ additions to the 2025 version of the Seattle Mariners.
Less than two weeks following this report, the Mariners seemingly made their notable move by re-signing Jorge Polanco to be their ahem ‘new’ third baseman.
Yes, the same Jorge Polanco who had his option declined prior to the beginning of the off-season. The same Jorge Polanco who had reportedly played through potentially more than one season with a debilitating knee injury. The same Jorge Polanco that until recently, wasn’t even a sure thing to be ready for the beginning of the season.
This move, given it’s now reported financial incentives, makes up roughly half of the reported Mariners budget for the off-season, and by financial definition for this org specifically, has clearly been labeled as notable by the powers that be. Again, probably not a lie, unless you want to compare the signing of Jorge Polanco to the free agent equivalent of a t-shirt that ‘shrunk in the laundry’.
li·ar, noun
Definition: a person who tells lies.
Usage in a sentence: “Jerry Dipoto is a liar.”
There’s the lie we were looking for.
Now, the idea that Jerry Dipoto has been put in a position where he needs to *insert army man protecting sleeping child meme here* for this ownership group’s financial choices is not lost on me.
What is also not lost on me, is the fact that by doing so, Dipoto continuously puts out media quotes that directly contradict his own statements from the past.
Today, Jerry didn’t even have to ask fans to dive into the countless wet fart soundbites he has provided us over the years - instead, his words were met with immediate vitriol from a fed up fan base who remembered instantly what Jerry himself had said was the plan for the 2024-25 off-season just four months earlier.
Jerry is not alone in this, either. The recently passed around quote from Dipoto in 2019 about future “spending power” isn’t a lie from Dipoto directly.
No, this lie can be attributed to an ownership group that refuses to honor the promises it made to their fan base, and instead, chooses to use financial complications caused by COVID and the cable collapse as their reason for why - as if the fan base is supposed to believe them that had neither happened, the resulting actions would be different.
Both Jerry, and the ownership group he tirelessly tries to protect, have spent the better part of the last decade lying to the fan base on several different topics, ranging from roster construction, roster viability and the importance of winning vs. profitability.
As a fanbase, we spent years looking at this franchise, lying to ourselves that they would spend, that they would fully commit to a winner that the region desperately deserves - but deep down, we knew exactly why the organization wasn’t committing as they said they would.
They’ll commit to spending like they said they would (lie), we tell ourselves.
They’ll spend while the rotation is controllable (lie), we tell ourselves.
They’ll add impact to avoid another wasted season (lie), we tell ourselves.
Deep down, we’re all liars - we’re just not the ones being paid to do it.